How to Help Your Senior Loved One Find a Pen Pal Friendship
Are you looking for a way to help your loved one in assisted living find a pursuit that brings satisfaction and joy? A pen pal may be the answer.
Seniors today encompass two generations: the Greatest Generation and the Baby Boomer generation. When in school, people in these generations learned precise printing and cursive writing and were graded on a subject called Penmanship. They didn’t encounter computers until adulthood.
Baby Boomers and members of the previous generation did not experience email, Google, or Facebook until many years after they left high school and college. Even though they may use those applications today, they spent much of their lives communicating with far away friends by paper mail.
These seniors often still enjoy writing and receiving letters and cards. They enjoy finding new relationships near and far away. Having a pen pal or two could be the perfect addition to their lives.
What is a Pen Pal Friendship?
Pen pals can be anyone near or far who communicates back and forth through writing with someone they haven’t met in person. Pen pals traditionally keep in touch by paper notes and letters sent via the US postal service.
It is also possible to find an email pen pal if that is something your loved one would prefer. The purpose of the activity is to help your loved senior make a new friend through written communication and develop that friendship through letters.
The Benefits of a Pen Pal Friend for Seniors
- Seniors are often isolated and lonely. Making a new friend is a way to ward off loneliness, and it brings a sense of joy and curiosity. Having a new friend makes for a feeling of belonging which gives people satisfaction.
- A pen pal can help reduce the chances of depression and improve mental health.
- Pen pal friendships are great for those who are hard of hearing, because the written word does not involve listening and can be an easier form of relating to someone.
- Writing to a pen pal can enhance creativity and cognitive health. Writing exercises the brain as it strengthens communication skills. This form of communication expands vocabulary and improves grammar and spelling. It causes the brain to access old memories as stories are told.
- Pen pals can be different ages which promotes cross generational relationships.
- Having a pen pal can help a senior develop new interests and opinions and learn about new cultures or traditions. If a pen pal is from a different country or region, they can learn about those backgrounds and perspectives. They gain social benefits as they make new friends.
- Discovering a new friend can increase compassion and understanding of others. Self-confidence can increase as a new sense of purpose is discovered.
- Writing (or typing) is a fine motor function. If fine motor activities are not practiced, dexterity decreases. Holding a pen to write a letter helps maintain fine motor skills.
How Can You Find a Pen Pal for Your Loved One?
There are several ways to go about helping your older loved one in an assisted living community find a pen pal.
Perhaps the care facility has a pen pal program set up. Asking the activity director is a great place to start.
Check with community organizations such as churches, schools, civic clubs, or volunteer organizations.
Consider asking friends if they would be interested in writing to your loved one.
You could start a pen pal group in the assisted living center. Social media platforms such as Facebook may lead you to online groups.
There are some organized pen pal groups such as www.loveforourelders.org. This group takes requests from a family or friend of a senior and allows the family to screen letters. (This is less of a pen pal group and more of a situation where a senior might simply receive letters. Perhaps they could choose one or two to continue corresponding with.)
Geek Girl Pen Pals links pairs of people to write to each other (both male and female).
Tips for Helping Your Loved One Begin a Pen Pal Relationship
- Always stay safe! If you go online to look for pen pal possibilities, check out the source of the letters. Scam sites are common and can target unwary seniors. Urge your loved one to never share personal information such as their full name, date of birth, social security number, financial or banking information, passwords, or travel information. Tell them to never send money or compromising photos. Most pen pal situations are safe, but it is better to be aware and careful.
- Help your loved one to write the way they speak and to talk about their hobbies, favorite books, movies, and activities of their day. They can share their favorite stories and ask and answer questions. Help them try to find common ground between their life and the life of their pen pal.
- Being pen pals is not about giving gifts but they may send small items such as pictures, poems, stickers, etc.–anything small and lightweight that fits in an envelope.
- Find fun ways to enhance letters. They might draw pictures around the border of the paper or the envelope or they could use pretty stationary or cards. Remember this is to be enjoyed by both parties.
- Look for ways to help them with stationary, stamps and mailing their letters. If they are having trouble reading the letter that is sent to them, they may need you to read it to them. Encourage their interest in writing and ask them to share information about their new friend if they want.
Summing It Up
Having a pen pal can enrich a senior’s life. It may take some help on your part to search out information and encourage the connection, but the results can be amazing as they enjoy finding new friends!!
