June 27, 2023

Mature Men, Let’s Talk About Emotions (Yikes)

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Mature Men, Let’s Talk About Emotions (Yikes)

This June, for National Men’s Health Month, we’re turning our attention to a crucial but often overlooked aspect of men’s health: emotional well-being in older men. Let’s delve into the complexities and challenges of emotional health in this significant stage of life and talk about what men can do to best support themselves in this area.

Emotions Change as Men Age

As men age, they often experience changes in their emotions. Aging can bring maturity and wisdom that softens emotional responses, leading to more emotional balance and calmness. This doesn’t mean older men are less emotional; instead, their feelings tend to be more complex and well-managed.

Studies have found that as men age, they often get better at regulating their emotions, which can lead to fewer negative feelings like anger and anxiety. This is thought to come from the accumulation of life experiences, which provides a broader view of life’s highs and lows and promotes emotional resilience and strength.

Many older men feel more content and accepting than they did when they were younger. This is partly because they spend time reflecting on their past and making sense of their life story, which can result in a more profound sense of peace and satisfaction.

However, it’s important to note that aging comes with its own challenges, such as health issues, the loss of loved ones, and societal biases against aging, which can impact emotional well-being. So, while there’s a general trend towards more emotional balance, everyone’s experiences are different.

Emotional Intelligence in Older Men
The ability to identify, understand, and manage emotions is a skill honed over time. In older men, this often manifests as being more aware of their emotions and better at handling them. Life experiences over the years can provide a more nuanced understanding of emotions and how they impact behaviors and relationships.

Having navigated diverse situations throughout their lives, older men often become more empathetic–meaning they’re better at noticing and acknowledging other people’s feelings without getting invested themselves. Empathy can help improve their relationships with others, leading to greater social satisfaction and well-being.

Moreover, with age often comes an increased capacity for self-awareness. Older men might have a deeper understanding of their emotional habits, strengths, and weaknesses. This ability to look inward can help them manage their emotions more effectively, which means they might be less influenced by negative emotions and able to experience the positive ones more fully.

However, it’s important to remember that emotional intelligence doesn’t just come through getting older. It also has to do with things like a person’s personality traits, their efforts to grow personally, and the influences of society and culture. Some older men might face challenges like isolation or health issues that can impact their emotional intelligence and awareness.

Why is Talking About Emotions Difficult?

Perception Blocks

Sometimes, older men struggle to talk about or show their feelings. This difficulty can stem from various social, cultural, and personal factors. Historically, societal norms and expectations have often emphasized stoicism, toughness, and self-reliance in men, discouraging them from openly acknowledging or expressing their emotions. This can lead to a habit of emotional suppression that persists as they grow older.

Fear of Looking Weak

Older men may experience a fear of vulnerability and looking weak. Because of this, they might be reluctant to share their feelings, even with people they trust, like close family members or doctors. Opening up can be even harder if they’ve experienced negative responses or dismissive attitudes when they’ve expressed their emotions in the past.

Lack of Vocabulary

Another issue could be that some older men don’t have the right words to recognize or explain their emotions well. This can make it challenging to communicate how and what they’re feeling.

Other Factors

Lastly, mental health issues, cognitive decline, or age-related health conditions can also impact the ability to express emotions. For these men, additional support, such as counseling or therapy, can provide a safe space to explore, understand, and express their feelings.

Opening Up About Feelings Has Benefits!

Talking about one’s emotions can have significant benefits for older men, improving mental, physical, and social health.

Mental Benefits

Firstly, opening up can improve a man’s mental well-being. Keeping feelings bottled up can bring on stress, anxiety, or depression. Sharing emotions, on the other hand, can help alleviate negative feelings, promoting resilience and overall happiness.

Moreover, acknowledging and expressing emotions can provide a sense of self-understanding and personal growth. Men can start to make sense of past experiences, deal with any lingering issues, and find more meaning and fulfillment in life.

Social Benefits

Communicating feelings fosters deeper connections with others. It can enhance relationships with family and friends, promoting empathy and understanding. This increased social support can be especially important for older men, who may be more likely to feel lonely and isolated.

Physical Benefits

Talking about one’s emotions is good for men’s physical health, too. Numerous studies have linked emotional suppression to an increased risk of health issues, including cardiovascular disease. However, emotional expression can mitigate these risks and contribute to better overall health.

Be a Model

Lastly, expressing emotions can set a great example for the younger men in a man’s life. A healthy model of emotional awareness and vulnerability can help to break down harmful stereotypes about masculinity. Older men who express emotion and talk about emotion have the opportunity to demonstrate to younger men that it’s okay to be open about feelings and that it doesn’t make them any less of a man.

What You Can Do

If you’re an older man looking to take better care of your emotional health and express your feelings more freely, consider implementing some of the following ideas.

First, realizing that it’s okay – and important – to talk about one’s feelings is a crucial step. Expressing emotion is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Recognizing this can help you overcome societal stereotypes that discourage emotional vulnerability.

Practicing mindfulness and self-reflection improves emotional awareness. This might involve journaling, meditation, or simply taking time each day to check in with how you’re feeling. Over time, this can enhance your ability to identify and articulate your emotions.

Seek out supportive environments where you can share your feelings. This might be informal, like opening up to trusted friends or family, or more structured, such as joining a support group or trying out therapy or a men’s group at church. These spaces can provide validation, empathy, and new perspectives.

Another approach is to learn more about emotional literacy – where your emotions come from and how to handle them. Plenty of books, websites, and workshops can provide valuable insights into understanding and managing emotions.

And remember, it’s always okay to ask for help. If you’re dealing with tough emotions and distress, reach out to a professional, like a psychologist or counselor. They can provide specific strategies and support you as you navigate difficult situations.

Wrapping It Up

It’s National Men’s Health Month. While it’s natural to focus on physical health, don’t forget about health in other realms: mental, spiritual, financial, and emotional. In this blog we’ve looked at the challenges older men face in the emotional health arena. We’ve also looked at the benefits of taking care of oneself emotionally. Men, use this month to prod yourself to administer self-care emotionally and across all other aspects of your health!